yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
