If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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