She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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