Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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