When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
