last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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