Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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