kristin has been a bad kristin
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
