i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
