i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
