Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
