Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
