It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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