I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
