Did you just see the Batmobile???
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All the doctor said was why
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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