you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
