Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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