why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
