question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
