I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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