Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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