thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
