u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I pour the whiskey from now on
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
