So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
