I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
