Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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