help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
