We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
