I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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