3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She is in my trunk
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
