He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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