i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize