I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
