Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
