She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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