She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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