Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
