with your own penis?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
