Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so explain again why im purple
no
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
