She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
