Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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