Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
