then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
