Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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