we have pet lesbian snakes
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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