Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
