We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
