what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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