His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sorry about my life...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
