so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
