Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
