I murdered the dance floor call the cops
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
