How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
