maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Couch. On fire.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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