im about as happy as oj after his trial
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
There are leaves in my underwear?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
