the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
