he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
