Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
