Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
