I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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