My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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