He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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