when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
